Sitting in another train station, waiting. Been here awhile. Realising how alone I am most of the time. It's ok when I am presenting as Karen. Then I feel usually relaxed and happy,along with a lurking fear that I might get some hassle, but I deal with that.
Thoughts running through my mind. How can I lower my testosterone level? Would that be wise?
What would be the effects? How far do you go?
Crazy thoughts, maybe?
Is this just shouting for something in that pink fog?
I'll get past this again, but those questions and many more remain.
In the end I can get the information and make any decisions, but thats the scary part.
Update:
Got on the train which was packed and there was no way I was getting a seat. Got talking to a few people. The subjects started of with the football. There were 3 lads probably not more than 20 years of age who were helping people on and off the train with their bags. They had been standing for 2 hours. They were all agreed on one thing, they weren't getting this train again. We got on ro the subject of the government and the budget. A few people added their views. The war in Afghanistan came up and then that's when one of the lads tapped his friends' leg. None of the rest of us realised this lad had only one leg. his other one was false. It had been blown off in Afghanistan. This man never complained just helped people. He seemed to be moving fine, the artificial leg was working well. You see about the war on the telly but never expect to meet someone who has been at the sharp end and been so badly injured. His attitude was amazing and he is still in the army. I shook his hand and wished him well when it came to his stop.
He reckoned he was lucky compared to others he had served with. When he said why there was nothing really any of us could say. Certainly makes you think.
