Another Ramble

I've been looking at loads of stuff on the net about being transgendered , reading a few blogs and trying to put into practise what I learned in Manchester where I had a make up lesson.
On one site in the FAQ section there was a bit about does a tg person's behavior change with age.
What it said was quite frequently there is a reduction in sexual motivation and more interest in the development of a more complete opposite gender persona. Most of this occurs in the mid-thirties to mid-forties in life. Interaction of the persona with other people (often in public) becomes very important to the reality of their transgendered personality.
I can relate to some of that, but the sexual motivation was never strong and to be honest there hasn't been any for years.
I can remember going to the Transformation shop in London many years ago. They did my make up. It was the first time I'd gone the whole hog so to speak. I remember feeling so relaxed and when I looked into the mirror I must admit I thought wow. I felt no sexual feelings just very happy. Over the years I've been to a few dressing services up and down the country. I always loved being able to talk and listen to people as well as trying different on different outfits.
I've never really liked going out boozing and that with male friends I guess that's why I don't have many. I've been described as looking glum and miserable.
Don't get me wrong I've enjoyed myself in bob mode and when I do I tend to go for it,which generally surprises people.
As Karen I've been finding it so easy to come out of my shell. My late wife told me Karen was like one of her female friends. When we talked about going away somewhere and me getting dressed up and us going out, I think she sensed she would see this side of me. That never happened which I regret.
I don't think I've changed so much, just progressed, the female side of me has become more important as time moves on. The only change was after my wife passed away which I went into on an earlier post.
The question that inevitably comes up would I ever want to transition?
Taking hormones, surgery and the total life change, which would mean having to put up with a lot of crap from bigoted small minded people would in the end be to much for me.
There are a couple of things I'd like to do. One is get rid of the facial hair and I'm looking at how to get rid of the hair on my arms with out drawing to much attention.
In the end I don't want to transition, but I've found I want as much freedom as possible. I love presenting as female, for want of a better way of putting it. I feel really happy when I am. I know there is room for vast improvement.
I'll just have to see where this journey takes me.

Karen xx

YouTube - JUDIE TZUKE - Stay with me till dawn

YouTube - JUDIE TZUKE - Stay with me till dawn

I was listening to a lot of Judie's music before my adventures in Manchester. This is probably her most well known one.