YouTube - Dream Theater - As I Am - Live In Budokan
I thought I would put this link up.
If you can make out the lyrics, they are a pretty good description of how I feel. It's just a shame I can't fully live up to them. I've always found this a good song to play when I'm annoyed or angry.
This particular recording was made on the strangest day of my life so far, but that's another story.
Dream Theater, I guess you would class as progressive rock. They do a lot of songs about the human condition, plus they are fantastic musicians.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Moving on
"It is more than art for it heightens your very existence. It provides more than an escape for it opens up a whole new social world and recognition that “Bob” seemed incapable of achieving. It is not lewd or cheap for in a way to you it is gender neutral for dressing does not actually initiate anything other than that sense that you are capable of entering into another dimension and this world becomes not quite as dull as you once thought."
The above is taken from a thread on the Angels Forum called 'Can you reach a point beyond the tranny state?'.
This paragraph, the last in the initial post by a lass called Lucinda really struck me.
I know things have changed radically for me in the last few years. This is the nearest anyone has came to describing where I am now and where I may be heading.
I can identify with the gender neutral statement to a degree. I am heterosexual, but for me sex has really faded into the background. That tension just doesn't seem to be there with the same force. Don't get me wrong a good looking woman will still turn my head.
I love being able to socialise with friends, meeting new people and I also get a kick out of being out as I want to be.
All of this has opened up a whole new world for me. My life is moving on. Old wounds have turned into scars, but they serve as memories. I read somewhere, long ago, that your scars are symbols of how you've survived so far in this life and you should have a certain pride in them. Well it went something like that.
One more thing I'll say is for all the negative stuff that gets thrown from time to time,then something like the above comes along. There is hope.
The above is taken from a thread on the Angels Forum called 'Can you reach a point beyond the tranny state?'.
This paragraph, the last in the initial post by a lass called Lucinda really struck me.
I know things have changed radically for me in the last few years. This is the nearest anyone has came to describing where I am now and where I may be heading.
I can identify with the gender neutral statement to a degree. I am heterosexual, but for me sex has really faded into the background. That tension just doesn't seem to be there with the same force. Don't get me wrong a good looking woman will still turn my head.
I love being able to socialise with friends, meeting new people and I also get a kick out of being out as I want to be.
All of this has opened up a whole new world for me. My life is moving on. Old wounds have turned into scars, but they serve as memories. I read somewhere, long ago, that your scars are symbols of how you've survived so far in this life and you should have a certain pride in them. Well it went something like that.
One more thing I'll say is for all the negative stuff that gets thrown from time to time,then something like the above comes along. There is hope.
Friday, 18 July 2008
Some thoughts
Post Sparkle blues, I suppose you might call it. Lately I've been feeling a bit down, questioning where I'm going with my life. I tend to do this every once in a while.
Sparkle was so much fun, to let myself be more the person I'd like to be when not working. It gave me such a high. I guess it was always going to be how bad the low would be.
One of the forums I occasionally post on seemed to descend into slanging matches on some threads which is a real shame. One thread in particular had produced some very positive posts, but in the end I guess it's very hard to debate on a forum when emotions run high.
One thing you see in the trans community very quickly is the pain and hurt. I would say it touches all of us, it's just a case of how bad. For me, I'm lucky, but you see people who are out, those that are transitioning seem to get it full force.
It doesn't say much for a society that basically contributes to the suffering of a group of people who have done nothing wrong and really want to make a positive contribution to the same society.
Sparkle was so much fun, to let myself be more the person I'd like to be when not working. It gave me such a high. I guess it was always going to be how bad the low would be.
One of the forums I occasionally post on seemed to descend into slanging matches on some threads which is a real shame. One thread in particular had produced some very positive posts, but in the end I guess it's very hard to debate on a forum when emotions run high.
One thing you see in the trans community very quickly is the pain and hurt. I would say it touches all of us, it's just a case of how bad. For me, I'm lucky, but you see people who are out, those that are transitioning seem to get it full force.
It doesn't say much for a society that basically contributes to the suffering of a group of people who have done nothing wrong and really want to make a positive contribution to the same society.
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