Some thoughts

Post Sparkle blues, I suppose you might call it. Lately I've been feeling a bit down, questioning where I'm going with my life. I tend to do this every once in a while.
Sparkle was so much fun, to let myself be more the person I'd like to be when not working. It gave me such a high. I guess it was always going to be how bad the low would be.
One of the forums I occasionally post on seemed to descend into slanging matches on some threads which is a real shame. One thread in particular had produced some very positive posts, but in the end I guess it's very hard to debate on a forum when emotions run high.
One thing you see in the trans community very quickly is the pain and hurt. I would say it touches all of us, it's just a case of how bad. For me, I'm lucky, but you see people who are out, those that are transitioning seem to get it full force.
It doesn't say much for a society that basically contributes to the suffering of a group of people who have done nothing wrong and really want to make a positive contribution to the same society.

Why?

Men stop war to make gods
sometimes. Peace gods who would make
Earth a haven. A place for men to
think love and play. No war
to cloud their minds and hearts. Stop,
somehow, men from being men.

Gods make war to stop men
from becoming gods.
Without the beat of drums to stop
our ears, what heaven we could make
of Earth! The anchor that is war
left behind? Somehow free to

stop war? Gods make men to
be somewhat like them. So men
express their godliness in war.
To take life this is what gods
do. Not the womanly urge to make
life. Nor the simple sense to stop.

War-men make gods. To stop
those gods from raging,we have to
find the heart and head to make
new gods, who don't take men
in human sacrifice. New gods,
who find disgust in war.

Gods stop, to make men war
for their amusement. We can stop
their fun. We can make new gods
in human guise. No need to
call to heaven. Just take plain men
and show them the heaven they could make!

To stop God's wars! Men make
their own destiny. We don't need war
to prove to anyone that we are men.
But even that is not enough. To stop
war, we have to become more. To
stop war, we have to become gods.

To stop war, make men gods.


Joe Haldeman, from the book Forever Free, sequel to The Forever War.

I found this and I must admit, I keep going back. The title Why? is mine for this post, there is none in the book. It is also set out as it appears in the book.

Maybe it's saying the ultimate blasphemy is the needless taking of human life. I'm not religeous, but how many have suffered and died in the name of religion, yet it does have it's positive side, unfortunately the negative seems to far outweigh the positive.
I'll be back to add more, there is more to be said about this piece yet.

A little more about me

As you probably have seen if you've read the previous posts, or even one of them. My written English is nothing great. I get the grammar wrong and the punctuation is probably not much better, and if you have read anything here I've probably sent you to sleep.
I've never really done anything like this before. I guess this is one way of keeping a record and it helps organise my thoughts and try to figure out where I'm heading. I did say I don't have a clue, which to some extent is true.
As a tgirl I'm entering new territory, but I am enjoying myself and I hope it's at least reflected in what I've written here.
If anybody is reading this, welcome.
I might go off on tangents and even make no sense at all, and there may even be the odd recipe, not that I'm any good at cooking. See I'm already doing it.
Whatever you do in this life try to have fun doing it and try not to hurt anyone.
If you can help someone along the way, it's all been worth it.