Moving on

"It is more than art for it heightens your very existence. It provides more than an escape for it opens up a whole new social world and recognition that “Bob” seemed incapable of achieving. It is not lewd or cheap for in a way to you it is gender neutral for dressing does not actually initiate anything other than that sense that you are capable of entering into another dimension and this world becomes not quite as dull as you once thought."

The above is taken from a thread on the Angels Forum called 'Can you reach a point beyond the tranny state?'.
This paragraph, the last in the initial post by a lass called Lucinda really struck me.
I know things have changed radically for me in the last few years. This is the nearest anyone has came to describing where I am now and where I may be heading.
I can identify with the gender neutral statement to a degree. I am heterosexual, but for me sex has really faded into the background. That tension just doesn't seem to be there with the same force. Don't get me wrong a good looking woman will still turn my head.
I love being able to socialise with friends, meeting new people and I also get a kick out of being out as I want to be.
All of this has opened up a whole new world for me. My life is moving on. Old wounds have turned into scars, but they serve as memories. I read somewhere, long ago, that your scars are symbols of how you've survived so far in this life and you should have a certain pride in them. Well it went something like that.
One more thing I'll say is for all the negative stuff that gets thrown from time to time,then something like the above comes along. There is hope.

Some thoughts

Post Sparkle blues, I suppose you might call it. Lately I've been feeling a bit down, questioning where I'm going with my life. I tend to do this every once in a while.
Sparkle was so much fun, to let myself be more the person I'd like to be when not working. It gave me such a high. I guess it was always going to be how bad the low would be.
One of the forums I occasionally post on seemed to descend into slanging matches on some threads which is a real shame. One thread in particular had produced some very positive posts, but in the end I guess it's very hard to debate on a forum when emotions run high.
One thing you see in the trans community very quickly is the pain and hurt. I would say it touches all of us, it's just a case of how bad. For me, I'm lucky, but you see people who are out, those that are transitioning seem to get it full force.
It doesn't say much for a society that basically contributes to the suffering of a group of people who have done nothing wrong and really want to make a positive contribution to the same society.

Why?

Men stop war to make gods
sometimes. Peace gods who would make
Earth a haven. A place for men to
think love and play. No war
to cloud their minds and hearts. Stop,
somehow, men from being men.

Gods make war to stop men
from becoming gods.
Without the beat of drums to stop
our ears, what heaven we could make
of Earth! The anchor that is war
left behind? Somehow free to

stop war? Gods make men to
be somewhat like them. So men
express their godliness in war.
To take life this is what gods
do. Not the womanly urge to make
life. Nor the simple sense to stop.

War-men make gods. To stop
those gods from raging,we have to
find the heart and head to make
new gods, who don't take men
in human sacrifice. New gods,
who find disgust in war.

Gods stop, to make men war
for their amusement. We can stop
their fun. We can make new gods
in human guise. No need to
call to heaven. Just take plain men
and show them the heaven they could make!

To stop God's wars! Men make
their own destiny. We don't need war
to prove to anyone that we are men.
But even that is not enough. To stop
war, we have to become more. To
stop war, we have to become gods.

To stop war, make men gods.


Joe Haldeman, from the book Forever Free, sequel to The Forever War.

I found this and I must admit, I keep going back. The title Why? is mine for this post, there is none in the book. It is also set out as it appears in the book.

Maybe it's saying the ultimate blasphemy is the needless taking of human life. I'm not religeous, but how many have suffered and died in the name of religion, yet it does have it's positive side, unfortunately the negative seems to far outweigh the positive.
I'll be back to add more, there is more to be said about this piece yet.